So...there are 2 main things that have been on my mind recently: Jobs (for right now and the summer), and something else that I'm not quite sure how to put, so I am just going to try to conduct a poll about it (not sure how helpful that will be because I'm not really sure how many people actually read this...but it can't hurt to try, right??). Ok...here goes: How many of you would want to talk to / be friends with / hang out with someone who always said "whatever" whenever you tried to talk to them? I don't mean like you ask them a question or tell them something and then they just say "whatever" and that's it. I mean you are trying to have a conversation with them / tell them something / ask them a question and they always say "whatever whatever whatever" even while you are still talking, like they don't want to talk to you / want you to shut up / think they know what you are going to say / don't even want to hear your voice. The reason I am asking this is because my mom does it to me all the time. If you know my mom, it's not one of the things she does in public, really, or when my friends are around...just when we are together and alone (It's like Vienna on the Bachelor, if any of you watch that: the way she acts when she's just in the house with the girls is different from the way she acts when she's around Jake. Mostly, she's a b*tch when she's around the girls...although some of the things she says when she's just with Jake make me want to shoot her as well...but that's just me). It makes me want to shut down and not talk to her. Also, it makes me feel like she doesn't want to hear what I have to say about anything...ever. It just makes me...GRR. In case you couldn't tell, I'm trying to say that she's done this all along...not just since John was sick / passed away. ::SHRUG:: I'm just not really sure what to do about it.
Oh! Before I completely forget, I mentioned my huge breakdown at the pizza place last wednesday in last friday's entry (not the one from this previous friday...the one from the 22nd) and thought I should further enlighten the people who read this before I continue to talk about job related stuff. So last wednesday I worked the longest night I have worked so far at the pizza place (from 5 PM to like 11 PM...I feel bad because I was so upset by the time I left that I forgot to sign out and now I can't really remember what time I actually got off. I feel like it's not that big a deal but still). I was worried about John because I feel like somewhere I had a feeling that he was going to die soon, but I had wanted to go to work so that I could be busy and not have to think about it. By the end of the night I was already sooo ready to go home and then they had me do all kinds of closing cleaning stuff that I had never done before basically all by myself (i.e. putting chairs on top of tables, sweeping, mopping, taking chairs back down, etc.). It wasn't so much the fact that it was hard / stuff I could not do...it was more that I was tired, and I was the only one doing it. I had been planning on telling my boss about what was going on with John anyway before I left for the evening, but my back was killing me from putting all the chairs on top of the tables and then taking most of them back down again (and apparently doing it in a way that was making it harder for myself, according to my boss, although no one had told me that there was an easier way to do it). Fortunately, my boss saw that I had been struggling (towards the end) and came over to show me the easier way to do it. That was when I kind of broke down, and he asked me what was wrong and I told him about John. He was like "You didn't have to come into work tonight" and I explained that I'd rather have been there and been busy than been at home and he was like "why don't we take you off the schedule for sunday (the 24th--the day John died) and then just not put you on the schedule for next week (aka this past week). You can come in to get your tips any time you want and then we will discuss where we are going from here (aka if I'm going back to work there or not, although he didn't actually say that...BTDubs the answer is no). I just haven't been able to motivate myself to drag my ass in there and talk to him about this. ::SHRUG::
On a related note I have been looking for other jobs, but to no avail. I really wanted to talk about summer job possibilities tonight, but I'm kind of tired, so I think I'll just go and save that for another entry.
More soon.
--Emily
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