I apologize in advance if this is boring or confusing. I'm still trying to get my thoughts together.
So...my mom always says that I don't have to explain the choices I make to her. She always says that the more I say, the worse it is (or the worse I make it?). I can't really give a specific example (and I know that's lame and vague, but I can't really help it) because there are too many times when this happens. I feel like I have to explain my choices to everyone else, but no one else seems to really mind except my mom. I understand that she's my mom and she should just love me no matter what choices I make and accept me and my choices no matter what (even if she doesn't think they are the right choices, although usually they are, and I'm not trying to brag or make it seem like I always make the right choices because I certainly do not. I am human, and I make mistakes just like everyone else. I'm sorry if it seems like I am being defensive. I'm probably apologizing too much. I'll stop now).
I'd like to think that because she's my mom it shouldn't matter to her how much I talk or explain or try to justify my choices (even though I know I shouldn't need to do that with her because she's my mom). I'd also like to think that more than anyone, she should be the one who just listens to me and doesn't try to shut me up or tell me that the more I say the worse it is. I feel like I've gotten so accustomed to explaining and justifying my choices to other people, that it's become a bad habit that I can't break now. I feel like it will be better when I go away to school again in the fall, and everything is pretty much back to normal, but part of me wishes that my mom would just listen to me. Here I go again not knowing what to say to her. When she does things like this it makes me feel like I can't talk to her about anything / I don't know what to say and what not to say / I don't know when it is appropriate to say certain things and when it's not appropriate. ::SHRUG:: I kind of want to fast forward through the next couple months and the summer, but I have several things to look forward to in the coming weeks (i.e. Passover and going to EC and Key West).
I think that's all for now. More soon.
--Emily
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
What's NYU pussy cat??
In case you couldn't tell, the subject of this entry is going to be NYU. Before I begin I just want to say that the people who read this should consider themselves very lucky, because I am posting more than one entry in the same day (and one right after the other, at that!!). The reason for this is because it's been about a week since I last posted an entry, and a lot has happened.
Ok. Back to the subject of NYU. I think I posted in here about how I got a call from the associate dean of the social work school at NYU and the fact that she wanted to meet with me. We met last tuesday, and she said the problem with my application was my essay. She said that it didn't have enough of what they were looking for, but she wasn't very specific, and I didn't feel like asking any questions because I was so shocked. I was not expecting her to say that at all. I had been talking with my aunts over the weekend because when I first got the phone call, I was really nervous, thinking about all the possible reasons that the associate dean of the NYU Silver School of Social Work might want to talk to me. One of my aunts said that it was probably because of my GPA (which was a 3.03, which is a little low for NYU standards, I think), and so that was what I was expecting the associate dean to say. I still don't really understand why she felt like she had to call me in and talk to me face to face if my essay was the problem. She said that she thought that it was a conversation that was better to have in person than over the phone. Frankly, I disagree. I would have preferred to have a conversation over the phone, or just get a letter from them saying something to the effect of: "We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted to our school" or something like that.
I was kind of upset by this and I tried not to show it (I was crying a little, and I told the lady that it was my allergies, but she said that she could tell that I was upset, and it was ok). It's not so much that I cared about the "name brand" of the school (and by name brand I guess I just mean the fact that NYU is an Ivy League school and it's supposed to be really good and to have that on my resume would be AWESOME), but (and I feel like I've said this before on here) their program focuses more on client and relationship centered social work, whereas the focus of Fordham's program is on social justice (you can still have a clinical focus, which is what I think I'm going to do...::SHRUG:: it won't be the same as going to NYU, but seriously...it's their loss. Honestly, who needs them?? Not me, that's for sure. I left the meeting and went to go find something to eat and sit in Washington Square Park and eat and call my mom and aunts and cry. I'm over it now, but I think at the time I was just shocked.
Fordham wanted me and accepted me from the beginning with basically the same essay that I sent to NYU with maybe some slight changes. I don't really understand what NYU's problem was, but I decided that I'm going to go to Fordham part time (it's only 6 credits a semester for the first year, so I'm gonna find a part-time job to do on the side, or maybe I'll do some volunteer work in the field of social work). I applied to live in their graduate housing, which is like 10 minutes from campus, but I haven't heard anything yet (I had to send in a $200 deposit and a copy of my acceptance letter to Fordham just to get a spot on a list for an apartment...we'll see what happens).
I think that's all for now. More later or tomorrow.
--Emily
Ok. Back to the subject of NYU. I think I posted in here about how I got a call from the associate dean of the social work school at NYU and the fact that she wanted to meet with me. We met last tuesday, and she said the problem with my application was my essay. She said that it didn't have enough of what they were looking for, but she wasn't very specific, and I didn't feel like asking any questions because I was so shocked. I was not expecting her to say that at all. I had been talking with my aunts over the weekend because when I first got the phone call, I was really nervous, thinking about all the possible reasons that the associate dean of the NYU Silver School of Social Work might want to talk to me. One of my aunts said that it was probably because of my GPA (which was a 3.03, which is a little low for NYU standards, I think), and so that was what I was expecting the associate dean to say. I still don't really understand why she felt like she had to call me in and talk to me face to face if my essay was the problem. She said that she thought that it was a conversation that was better to have in person than over the phone. Frankly, I disagree. I would have preferred to have a conversation over the phone, or just get a letter from them saying something to the effect of: "We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted to our school" or something like that.
I was kind of upset by this and I tried not to show it (I was crying a little, and I told the lady that it was my allergies, but she said that she could tell that I was upset, and it was ok). It's not so much that I cared about the "name brand" of the school (and by name brand I guess I just mean the fact that NYU is an Ivy League school and it's supposed to be really good and to have that on my resume would be AWESOME), but (and I feel like I've said this before on here) their program focuses more on client and relationship centered social work, whereas the focus of Fordham's program is on social justice (you can still have a clinical focus, which is what I think I'm going to do...::SHRUG:: it won't be the same as going to NYU, but seriously...it's their loss. Honestly, who needs them?? Not me, that's for sure. I left the meeting and went to go find something to eat and sit in Washington Square Park and eat and call my mom and aunts and cry. I'm over it now, but I think at the time I was just shocked.
Fordham wanted me and accepted me from the beginning with basically the same essay that I sent to NYU with maybe some slight changes. I don't really understand what NYU's problem was, but I decided that I'm going to go to Fordham part time (it's only 6 credits a semester for the first year, so I'm gonna find a part-time job to do on the side, or maybe I'll do some volunteer work in the field of social work). I applied to live in their graduate housing, which is like 10 minutes from campus, but I haven't heard anything yet (I had to send in a $200 deposit and a copy of my acceptance letter to Fordham just to get a spot on a list for an apartment...we'll see what happens).
I think that's all for now. More later or tomorrow.
--Emily
Madame Tussaud's and Rain
Last friday was the birthday of one of my brother's friends from school. She was turning 17, and in order to celebrate, she wanted me, my mom, and Ben to go with her and her parents to Madame Tussaud's, the wax museum in NYC. We figured it would be a good idea, especially because it was supposed to rain, and the museum was inside. We quickly found out that we were quite wrong, however. Just because it was raining, did not mean that it was not crowded in NYC. It was also cold and windy, and while we were waiting in line for cabs to go to the museum (there were 6 of us so se had to take 2 cabs) my umbrella blew inside out twice (this was the umbrella that my aunt Becky had given me back in january when I went to visit her and my cousin Sarah in Cali--It's light blue and has the Paul Frank monkey, Julius, on it and it says "Paul Frank is your friend". Usually it makes me happy because I love Paul Frank, but on this day I was scared that it was going to break because of the rain and all of the wind so actually I was kind of sad. My mood quickly changed once we got to the museum, tho).
We had a lot of fun taking pictures of and with all kinds of celebrities (everyone from Pablo Picasso and Albert Einstein to Shakira and Julia Roberts--for pics check my facebook profile). We had a dinner reservation for 5:30, but we got done in the museum around 3:30. We tried to walk and find a place to just sit down and eat a snack before dinner and be out of the rain, but we were unsuccessful. We ended up just going to the restaurant and having an early dinner (I wasn't very hungry, so I just had some minestrone soup and a salad. Ben got a personal pizza and only ate one slice of it, so we brought it home and I ate a slice that night and the rest the next day--it was, basically just bread and sauce, but it was REALLY good. :D
The hardest and probably least fun part of the day was trying to get back to NJ. When we got to the train station they were announcing that NJ Transit trains were temporarily suspended. We tried to go over to the NJ Transit part of Penn Station to see what was going on, but the people were packed in like sardines, and there was no way we could have possibly gotten any answers. We went back to the main area (where the huge board with the times of trains, the security desk, and all of the waiting areas are) and waited for about an hour before we decided to see if we could get two taxis to take us back to NJ. We walked out of Penn Station, and within 10 seconds a man approached us and asked if we wanted a ride. We had to bargain with him a little bit about the price (I wanna say he wanted to charge us like $200 but we got him to come down to $150--I think that's still pretty expensive, but whatevs) but eventually we were satisfied and all six of us hopped into his car (I sat in back with Ben, his friend, and her mom, and my mom sat in front with Ben's friend's dad--we were all a little squished, but I don't really think that there was a better way for us to get back to NJ at the time).
The rain definitely made this trip an adventure (and a tiring one at that), but all in all I think everyone involved had a good time and enjoyed themselves.
More soon.
--Emily
We had a lot of fun taking pictures of and with all kinds of celebrities (everyone from Pablo Picasso and Albert Einstein to Shakira and Julia Roberts--for pics check my facebook profile). We had a dinner reservation for 5:30, but we got done in the museum around 3:30. We tried to walk and find a place to just sit down and eat a snack before dinner and be out of the rain, but we were unsuccessful. We ended up just going to the restaurant and having an early dinner (I wasn't very hungry, so I just had some minestrone soup and a salad. Ben got a personal pizza and only ate one slice of it, so we brought it home and I ate a slice that night and the rest the next day--it was, basically just bread and sauce, but it was REALLY good. :D
The hardest and probably least fun part of the day was trying to get back to NJ. When we got to the train station they were announcing that NJ Transit trains were temporarily suspended. We tried to go over to the NJ Transit part of Penn Station to see what was going on, but the people were packed in like sardines, and there was no way we could have possibly gotten any answers. We went back to the main area (where the huge board with the times of trains, the security desk, and all of the waiting areas are) and waited for about an hour before we decided to see if we could get two taxis to take us back to NJ. We walked out of Penn Station, and within 10 seconds a man approached us and asked if we wanted a ride. We had to bargain with him a little bit about the price (I wanna say he wanted to charge us like $200 but we got him to come down to $150--I think that's still pretty expensive, but whatevs) but eventually we were satisfied and all six of us hopped into his car (I sat in back with Ben, his friend, and her mom, and my mom sat in front with Ben's friend's dad--we were all a little squished, but I don't really think that there was a better way for us to get back to NJ at the time).
The rain definitely made this trip an adventure (and a tiring one at that), but all in all I think everyone involved had a good time and enjoyed themselves.
More soon.
--Emily
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Comments...please?
So this is gonna be a quickie, but hopefully a goody. I know that a lot more people read this than actually "follow" it, and that makes me happy. However, people rarely comment on it, and I feel like a big part of having a blog is so that people can read your thoughts and give you feedback. So please, don't hesitate to comment (even if you just want to say "your blog stinks and I hate you"...although if you're going to say that please make it anonymous)!! If I didn't want comments, I wouldn't allow them. Now I could understand if my posts were too long and had too much in them and therefore were overwhelming and hard to comment on. If that is the case, please say so. I am very open and willing to make changes to my blog. Or, you could just pick one thing out of the whole entire blog and comment on that and forget about everything else. I could also understand if my posts just were not thought provoking and didn't warrant comments, but I feel like some (if not most) of them are, although I could be wrong.
All I'm asking is for at least one comment every once in a while (I've had this blog for about 2 and a half months now and I've tried to write in it pretty consistently, and I think I only have 1 comment so far). I'm not even asking for everyone who reads this to post comments (but don't get me wrong, that would be nice). If one or two people posted one or two comments every once in a while that would make me happy, and I will try to return the favor for those of you that have blogs that I read that allow comments.
That's all for now. More soon.
--Emily
All I'm asking is for at least one comment every once in a while (I've had this blog for about 2 and a half months now and I've tried to write in it pretty consistently, and I think I only have 1 comment so far). I'm not even asking for everyone who reads this to post comments (but don't get me wrong, that would be nice). If one or two people posted one or two comments every once in a while that would make me happy, and I will try to return the favor for those of you that have blogs that I read that allow comments.
That's all for now. More soon.
--Emily
Monday, March 8, 2010
The Weekend and Beyond...
Wow. It's been exactly a week since I last posted here. My weeks are generally pretty boring, as I don't do much of anything (aside from tutoring, going to work with my mom, and working at the acting studio), but I wanted to talk about my weekend. It all started on friday with a phone call from the associate dean of the NYU Silver School of Social Work (aka my top choice grad. school). Her name is Mary Ellen Noonan (on the phone she sounded like a man...but that's beside the point). She said that she wanted to meet with me to talk about my application, so I am going into the city to meet with her tomorrow. I was very nervous when I got the phone call as to what this all meant. I'm sure the people who read this know that I really just want to know (er, I've wanted to know for a while now) whether or not I have been accepted to NYU. I have been accepted to Fordham, so I really just want to be able to make a decision, so that I can know where exactly I'm going in the fall, and begin to make other plans. I feel like this is particularly hard for me at this point in my life because Ben knows where he's going in the fall (a program called Giant Steps on Long Island) and is all excited about it (the director called a couple weeks ago with the name of a potential roommate for him, and he and my mom are going to meet him and his mom for lunch on Passover--monday 3 / 28). Basically, it's one of the only things he can talk about, and it makes me jealous. I feel like for him, it's one of the major ways that he is coping with John's death. I on the other hand, feel like I am stuck in limbo. I only really have one job that excites me (the acting studio), and I have no clue what's going on with my academic life. ::SHRUG::
Now that I have gotten completely off the real topic that I wanted to talk about, let's get back on track. So I talked to both of my aunts and the counselor that my brother goes to about the whole NYU meeting thing, but I am still kind of nervous. I know that some nervousness is ok, though, so I guess I shouldn't worry. I really have been trying not to think about it. I have to get up really early tomorrow, though cuz I want to take a 9:00 train so that I have plenty of time to get from Penn Station to NYU and I won't be late. The 9:00 train gets me in at 9:44, so I feel like I will probably be getting there SUPER early, but I feel like in these situations early is probably better than late. I'll probably just go to the bookstore and buy / get lost in some psychology book (of which there are many that interest me, and I know this because I've been to the NYU bookstore before, but I will talk about that in a bit) and / or buy myself some clothing. I don't know what it is about me and school clothing, but I love it. I used to have so much EC clothing that it wasn't funny, but I have been slowly getting rid of it as I do not go to EC anymore, and I realize that some of it I will probably never wear, sadly. I'm not getting rid of all of it (at least not yet) but I am slowly changing from a "t-shirt and jeans" type of girl to a fancy clothes girl.
Anyway, back to NYU (I feel like I keep straying, and I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing). So I went to NYU to talk to someone from admissions back in january. It was really impersonal, as the woman I spoke to did not even have my application in front of her, and it was her last day on the job. The first thing she asked me was if I had any questions. I did have a couple (about their integrated practice / field curriculum program, and whether or not they had an orientation). The lady answered my questions, but now I don't remember what the answers were. I talked with her for a little while, and then took a walk around the campus. I saw the Steinhardt School (yes...my uncle Michael Steinhardt is associated with the NYU Steinhardt School, in case you were wondering) and I found the bookstore. I ended up buying a grey sweater that says New York University over the right breast, and a book called Obedience to Authority by Stanley Milgram (the psychologist who did the shock study). There were several other books that I was debating about getting before I settled on that one, so I'm sure I will be able to find something to sink my teeth into if I go back there. They had shirts that said Steinhardt (I thought it might be funny to have one) and ones that said NYU School of Social Work (which I promised myself I wouldn't buy unless I actually got in), so I probably will not buy any clothes this time around.
And now that I have greatly digressed from the title of this entry, I will return to the topic of my weekend. On saturday my mom and Ben went into the city for Ben's camp reunion (even though he is not going back to camp this summer he wanted to go to the reunion to see his friends and to see what counselors--if any that he knew--were going to be there). I didn't want to go, so I got to spend a relaxing day at home. I played some Wii, did my laundry and watched some George Carlin, thanks to Netflix :D (one of my favorite comedians, who was introduced to me by John--if you've never seen any of his stuff I suggest that you go check him out on youtube, especially his sketch about cats and dogs cuz it's my favorite). All in all a very relaxing day if I do say so myself. On sunday my mom and Ben and one of Ben's friends and his mom and I all went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. It was a pretty good movie, but I could have done without the 3D (not that it was bad, but the glasses were uncomfortable and I kept seeing little blue and red specks out of the corners of my eyes). Also, most of the scenes were 3D, but not all of them. I feel like if a movie is going to be done in 3D, then all of the scenes should be done in 3D. I feel like this movie would have been perfectly fine without it.
I think that's all for now. I will try to write more soon.
--Emily
Now that I have gotten completely off the real topic that I wanted to talk about, let's get back on track. So I talked to both of my aunts and the counselor that my brother goes to about the whole NYU meeting thing, but I am still kind of nervous. I know that some nervousness is ok, though, so I guess I shouldn't worry. I really have been trying not to think about it. I have to get up really early tomorrow, though cuz I want to take a 9:00 train so that I have plenty of time to get from Penn Station to NYU and I won't be late. The 9:00 train gets me in at 9:44, so I feel like I will probably be getting there SUPER early, but I feel like in these situations early is probably better than late. I'll probably just go to the bookstore and buy / get lost in some psychology book (of which there are many that interest me, and I know this because I've been to the NYU bookstore before, but I will talk about that in a bit) and / or buy myself some clothing. I don't know what it is about me and school clothing, but I love it. I used to have so much EC clothing that it wasn't funny, but I have been slowly getting rid of it as I do not go to EC anymore, and I realize that some of it I will probably never wear, sadly. I'm not getting rid of all of it (at least not yet) but I am slowly changing from a "t-shirt and jeans" type of girl to a fancy clothes girl.
Anyway, back to NYU (I feel like I keep straying, and I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing). So I went to NYU to talk to someone from admissions back in january. It was really impersonal, as the woman I spoke to did not even have my application in front of her, and it was her last day on the job. The first thing she asked me was if I had any questions. I did have a couple (about their integrated practice / field curriculum program, and whether or not they had an orientation). The lady answered my questions, but now I don't remember what the answers were. I talked with her for a little while, and then took a walk around the campus. I saw the Steinhardt School (yes...my uncle Michael Steinhardt is associated with the NYU Steinhardt School, in case you were wondering) and I found the bookstore. I ended up buying a grey sweater that says New York University over the right breast, and a book called Obedience to Authority by Stanley Milgram (the psychologist who did the shock study). There were several other books that I was debating about getting before I settled on that one, so I'm sure I will be able to find something to sink my teeth into if I go back there. They had shirts that said Steinhardt (I thought it might be funny to have one) and ones that said NYU School of Social Work (which I promised myself I wouldn't buy unless I actually got in), so I probably will not buy any clothes this time around.
And now that I have greatly digressed from the title of this entry, I will return to the topic of my weekend. On saturday my mom and Ben went into the city for Ben's camp reunion (even though he is not going back to camp this summer he wanted to go to the reunion to see his friends and to see what counselors--if any that he knew--were going to be there). I didn't want to go, so I got to spend a relaxing day at home. I played some Wii, did my laundry and watched some George Carlin, thanks to Netflix :D (one of my favorite comedians, who was introduced to me by John--if you've never seen any of his stuff I suggest that you go check him out on youtube, especially his sketch about cats and dogs cuz it's my favorite). All in all a very relaxing day if I do say so myself. On sunday my mom and Ben and one of Ben's friends and his mom and I all went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. It was a pretty good movie, but I could have done without the 3D (not that it was bad, but the glasses were uncomfortable and I kept seeing little blue and red specks out of the corners of my eyes). Also, most of the scenes were 3D, but not all of them. I feel like if a movie is going to be done in 3D, then all of the scenes should be done in 3D. I feel like this movie would have been perfectly fine without it.
I think that's all for now. I will try to write more soon.
--Emily
Monday, March 1, 2010
"Drivin' drivin' in my car..."
So if you guessed that this post is going to be about driving, then you guessed right. I know that sounds boring...and I'm sorry if it turns out to be, but this has been on my mind lately.
I got my driver's license like the day before I went off to college, and hence did not get much time to practice / have my own car because I was going off to school. I would try and get as much practice as I could when I came home for breaks, and stuff, but since I was at school I wasn't really getting in as much practice as I needed. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, and I feel like if I continued like this, it would turn into a really long and boring story that not many people would want to read (not that many people read this anyway...but still).
I feel like in order to really get the practice that I deserve, I would have to have my own car, so that I wouldn't have to keep bugging my mom to drive hers. I feel like that's not going to happen anytime soon, so I have given up on that idea and have resorted to just driving my mom's car (most of the time with her in it...I feel like that's the major problem...but I will get to that later). I'm still not really getting as much practice as possible, because a lot of the time I don't feel like driving, or I am more used to getting in the passenger's seat than the driver's seat, and so I don't even think most of the time and just get into the passenger's seat out of habit. When I drive however, I feel like my mom is always (well, maybe always is an exaggeration) yelling at me (like I am doing something wrong, which maybe sometimes I am, but still). Yelling is really not conducive to making me want to keep driving. I mean, technically I have to get us to wherever we're going because I'm already driving (although technically if I wanted to I guess I could pull over and let my mom drive, but I feel like that might result in a fight), but usually I don't want to drive us home.
Ok...once again I'm not really sure where I was going with this, and my mom is yelling at me to go eat, so I will have to come back and edit this later.
--Emily
I got my driver's license like the day before I went off to college, and hence did not get much time to practice / have my own car because I was going off to school. I would try and get as much practice as I could when I came home for breaks, and stuff, but since I was at school I wasn't really getting in as much practice as I needed. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, and I feel like if I continued like this, it would turn into a really long and boring story that not many people would want to read (not that many people read this anyway...but still).
I feel like in order to really get the practice that I deserve, I would have to have my own car, so that I wouldn't have to keep bugging my mom to drive hers. I feel like that's not going to happen anytime soon, so I have given up on that idea and have resorted to just driving my mom's car (most of the time with her in it...I feel like that's the major problem...but I will get to that later). I'm still not really getting as much practice as possible, because a lot of the time I don't feel like driving, or I am more used to getting in the passenger's seat than the driver's seat, and so I don't even think most of the time and just get into the passenger's seat out of habit. When I drive however, I feel like my mom is always (well, maybe always is an exaggeration) yelling at me (like I am doing something wrong, which maybe sometimes I am, but still). Yelling is really not conducive to making me want to keep driving. I mean, technically I have to get us to wherever we're going because I'm already driving (although technically if I wanted to I guess I could pull over and let my mom drive, but I feel like that might result in a fight), but usually I don't want to drive us home.
Ok...once again I'm not really sure where I was going with this, and my mom is yelling at me to go eat, so I will have to come back and edit this later.
--Emily
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